Do you even hear yourself?

I am stressed! I'm not capable! I'm not worthy! I'm too ____!

It's crazy to think that if someone was to say the above to me, I'd probably tell them to shut up and get out of my face.

We all speak to ourselves in different ways, some out loud and some internally. I've learnt a way to help me deal with this voice, imaginary person, whatever you want to call it, and I'll be sharing how in this post.

I have a voice in my head that speaks to me and if you feel you do too then keep reading. If you're at a bar and you see an attractive guy/girl and you think maybe you want to approach them but then a voice in your head goes "I'm out of his/her league" or if you're applying for a job and you hear a thought like "There's no way I'll get it", or any similar situations, what I am about to share may be useful for you.

I first replaced any of these dialogues (or any such that you hear that voice in your head say to yourself) from "I am stressed" to "There's no way I'll get it" and take that voice out of your head and make it such that a person is saying that to you. "You are not capable", "You are not worthy", "You're out of his/her league" is not generally something I'd like someone else telling me. And just the same way, that voice in our head is our inner critic.

Once we pull the voice out and make it a person saying those things, it becomes clear that we don't need someone giving you that kind of negativity. The simple disassociation from that negative talk in our head alone is enough to bring that awareness that it doesn't matter what the voice/person says because it's not us and we don't have to listen to it. 

Reader: But what if the voice is right?

Anything negative the voice says, right or wrong, is unnecessary to our growth (Read Discomfort Zone Vol. 1). It only serves the purpose of bringing to our attention what may be limiting us from achieving our full potential. There is also a basic theory which I follow that suggests that our thoughts live in our heads as energy entities and if we were to think negatively or accept the negative talk we give ourselves we are feeding this thought and allowing it to fester inside our minds which clearly doesn't sound very helpful. (If you guys are keen to hear more about this, DM me and I'll work on a post to elaborate more)

A simple technique to use when wanting to bring this voice inside our head out as a real person to tell it to keep quiet is every time we notice ourselves having any negative self-talk, as crazy as it sounds, say hello to the voice and take it out of your head for a chat. You must be thinking it's bizarre but it is that simple act of awareness that can help distinguish you from that inner critic who may not have your best interests in mind. 

As always if you have any questions, do feel free to drop me a DM or email me (saralbyrahil@gmail.com)

All be blessed,

Rahil Dave